I don't know what to write about. Its been so long. But the temptation was strong enough. To open up my eyes, switch back the lights on. Open an empty page, find a filled pen.To scribble some nonsense like the good old days.
Life is so much like the electric light. Switched on and off...all its contents. Switch off a part of memory, switch on a idea, switch on love , switch off a sexual urge.
No not exactly, its not exactly me who operates the switches. They work automatic. Some really sophisticated hi-tech tool.
Its so much like various slimy yet ecstatically colourful liquids. Fusing, melding, merging into each other. Splitting, diffracting distracting away sometimes. Purple slowly blending into some thick, slightly yellow kind of serum. Sometimes thick brown dirt like something settling down, leaving that same yellowish liquid clear.
Like love and hate merge and mix like friendship and trust sometimes separate.
I ain't sure about the feelings which mix or separate. Just guessing. It's different for different beings maybe. Need to think more about the chemical side of life. But watching these myriad liquids playing with each other in the geometrically carved glass tubes was so much exciting. Than wondering about their name or properties. The colours(including colourless) fascinated me.
Coagulation is another thing which reminds me sometimes of life. Or rather sometimes life reminds me of coagulation.
I ain't sure which way it is. But I don't know when I feel coagulated. Have you got any idea?
Trust me...it's wonderful to smell the pages again.
The first time I smelt pages..um...not exactly the first first time. But whenever I consciously did. It was laced with some kind of cheap rose perfume. I would smell them hungrily as if it were some kind of drugs. I'd written some stupid ideological poems on them. The time when I would be more worried about form and shape and less about content.
I think most of the writing I do is to make myself believe in certain things.
I mean I can't really believe in thoughts or in voices. I got to see things typed...black written in blue or red...something. It makes them easily digestible to me.
The one's in head or ears seem to be to far fetched.
Maybe one reason why I keep reading the lyrics of rock n roll over and over again while I am listening. Or why do I love reading those subtitles on the bottom of the screen.
